Exercises in Futility is the working-out of the story of the last 3, or so, years of my life. A lot has happened: I moved over 300 miles away from my family for a new job that ended horribly, redefined myself as a person, fell in love for the first time (with that person turning out to the "the one"), and learned some hard life lessons that have shown me what is really important in this life. And if I stayed out all night, more than I should have, and met some fantastic, crazy new friends on my journey there, so be it! Let's listen in, shall we?
Stagnant, stale, inert, stationary, unmoving; These words oh so accurately described my life just over three years ago. I was 23 years old, living with my parents and working as a temp in Gillette, WY. I was, and still am, unmarried and childless or a “failure” according to this small town of less than 40,000 people where there are more drive through liquor stores then churches but the judgment still flows as freely as the booze. I was living with my parents, along with the younger 2 of my 5 siblings, on 40 acres about 5 miles west of town. I'd fallen into the very familiar role of "second mom"; running my younger sisters around to practices, when my parents couldn't, and volunteering with their high school band.
I floated through my days and weeks with no direction other than to do it all over again tomorrow. I'd accumulated all the trappings of mid-west success; The latest cell phone, a brand new car, as many trips to Maurice's as I could stomach and cash left over for the boredom trips to Wal-Mart. My parents had raised us all to work hard and do our best and I loved nothing more than fulfilling other people's expectations of me. Naturally my competence (i.e. ability to read and count change) stood out to employers and by 23 I had topped out, for a female in the heavily industrialized economy, attaining my first “corporate” management position at 21. I really had no where to go but out.